Sunday, March 7, 2010
We know more than that . . .
Today, amongst our junk mail, we got a catalogue from a supermarket that had a few pages of baby stuff. Looking at it got me thinking about how many products available today are premised on the notion that judgement based on our observations is essentially untrustworthy: at-home baby scales, bath thermometers, spoons that change colour when the food's too hot, clothes that change colour when the baby's too hot, the line in the disposable nappy that changes colour when it's saturated with pee. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with using any of these products, and I'm not in favour of being cavalier when it comes to baby's safety, but it seems to me that the fact that all these 'helpful' products exist belies a basic distrust of ourselves - as if the evidence of our senses and the work of our bodies are unreliable. This notion undermines our trust in ourselves as mothers. We don't need those all those things . . . we know and can do more than that.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding was a topic on talkback radio today because a study has been published that says that whether a child is breastfed or not is not the sole determiner for the health of the baby. The study claims the hormonal environment when the baby is in the womb has a strong effect on the health of the baby. I haven't checked for the original study results, so I don't know if they are saying breastfeeding is not important at all or whether it's part of a panel of factors that influence babies' health. But in the newspaper and it was presented as "formula feeding is just as good as breastfeeding" and on talkback radio the topic was, 'Is formula feeding as good as breastfeeding?'
These days I'm giving K a bottle of formula before bed. He had been refusing to breastfeed at that time of night for a few months, but he was waking up so often at night. You should have seen him suck down that bottle once he realised what it was for -- he was really hungry! So I don't have anything against formula. But we are the only species that feed our babies milk from another species . . . from a biological standpoint it is just not possible that milk from a cow could be better suited to human babies than milk from a human. I don't even know why people still bother debating that. Of course babies also thrive on formula and it is God's blessing that we have formula in our lives and are able to use it to feed our babies! But scientifically, the formula v breast milk question is a moot point.
I suppose it is easier for our fast food news to deal with that topic than the other, more complex issues that affect feeding choices, which fan out from things that affect it directly like breastfeeding education and lactation support during pregnancy and after birth, to funding and infrastructure for health care, and how much of that could be allocated for different birthing options and the lactation support that could go along with that, funding for things like nursing rooms in public areas like train stations, issues about the general level of awareness/attention to nutrition (Australia has now overtaken America and is the fattest nation in the world! Why would be care about the nutritional benefits of breast milk when we are preparing the babies for a life of overeating and inattention to nutrition?), to issues about how women, mothers, and bodies fit into our society and our collective consciousness.
But overall, I think Australia seems to be very pro-breastfeeding.
I've found breastfeeding over the past few months, since we came to Australia, a bit stressful because it took a while to readjust once he got well established on the solids. Or maybe it just took me a while to see the new pattern! Anyway, now we have a rhythm again and things are going pretty smoothly. K has had an ear infection in both ears this week and he was feeling really crappy and he seemed to find drinking mummy's milk soothing when he was sick. I was really glad that I had stuck it out through the tough time and when I was looking at him breastfeeding, seeing how calm and content he was even though he felt sick, it was really one of the most rewarding moments in my breastfeeding experience so far.
These days I'm giving K a bottle of formula before bed. He had been refusing to breastfeed at that time of night for a few months, but he was waking up so often at night. You should have seen him suck down that bottle once he realised what it was for -- he was really hungry! So I don't have anything against formula. But we are the only species that feed our babies milk from another species . . . from a biological standpoint it is just not possible that milk from a cow could be better suited to human babies than milk from a human. I don't even know why people still bother debating that. Of course babies also thrive on formula and it is God's blessing that we have formula in our lives and are able to use it to feed our babies! But scientifically, the formula v breast milk question is a moot point.
I suppose it is easier for our fast food news to deal with that topic than the other, more complex issues that affect feeding choices, which fan out from things that affect it directly like breastfeeding education and lactation support during pregnancy and after birth, to funding and infrastructure for health care, and how much of that could be allocated for different birthing options and the lactation support that could go along with that, funding for things like nursing rooms in public areas like train stations, issues about the general level of awareness/attention to nutrition (Australia has now overtaken America and is the fattest nation in the world! Why would be care about the nutritional benefits of breast milk when we are preparing the babies for a life of overeating and inattention to nutrition?), to issues about how women, mothers, and bodies fit into our society and our collective consciousness.
But overall, I think Australia seems to be very pro-breastfeeding.
I've found breastfeeding over the past few months, since we came to Australia, a bit stressful because it took a while to readjust once he got well established on the solids. Or maybe it just took me a while to see the new pattern! Anyway, now we have a rhythm again and things are going pretty smoothly. K has had an ear infection in both ears this week and he was feeling really crappy and he seemed to find drinking mummy's milk soothing when he was sick. I was really glad that I had stuck it out through the tough time and when I was looking at him breastfeeding, seeing how calm and content he was even though he felt sick, it was really one of the most rewarding moments in my breastfeeding experience so far.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Violence and racism: Australia, you disappoint me
Something that has really surprised and disappointed me about Australia since I got back is how violent life has become here, and how racist it is. I'm not sure if it has got worse while I've been living overseas, or I was just immune to it before.
The voilence has definitely increased since I left, I think. Guns are illegal here, so people are using knives instead. There is a report of a stabbing/knife attack a few times a week. The police have just been given the power to search somebody if they suspect them of having a knife. There have been knife attacks in nightclubs and pubs, and attacks around the streets. A lot of people are dying from these attacks. Melbourne, the capital city of my state, seems really violent and unsafe at night these days. I am glad we have decided not to live there. (We are living in a country town of 10,000 people.)
The big news this week has been the stabbing of a young Indian man on his way to work at a fast food restaurant. There was no reason for the attack, but he was stabbed in the street. He stumbled into the restaurant all bloody and crying for help, but he ended up dying. There have been many violent attacks against Indians in Australia (most of them in Melbourne) over the past year or so. For a while, the government tried to turn a blind eye to it. The Prime Minister called it something like "a regrettable fact of urban life". But Indian students have been protesting about it and asking for more help and security, and the media in India has got a hold of it and is reporting about how unsafe Australia is for Indians now. They have issued a travel warning for Indians considering coming to Australia. So finally (unfortunately only because the economy has been threatened, not because of the moral obligation!) the government is getting more on board this issue and are now at least condemning the attacks.
Yesterday in the newspaper they had a list of several of the attacks that have happened to the Indians (or people who were mistaken for Indians). Several of the people had been beaten to death or stabbed to death, and some of the others had suffered brain damage, loss of sight or hearing, as well as broken bones and injured organs. I just cannot wrap my mind around what must be going through the attackers' minds when they do this. I cannot understand how you could keep bashing someone, obviously already injured, to the point of death.
K1, UFC, and other cage fighting "sports" are not to blame for this but I really hate those sports and wondering how someone could bash someone else to death brings these sports to mind. I don't mind the fighting when both opponents are upright and the guy who's losing at least has a chance of getting away, but I hate it when the one guy has pinned the other to the ground so that he can't move, and then just keeps punching him in the head. There is often blood over the mat at the end of those fights. I know it is 'controlled' by the referee and supposed to be somewhat 'safe' for the participants, but I feel sick when I see it on TV. That violence like that has been normalised and served up for viewing with beer and popcorn is one of the f-ed up things about our modern society and just part of the general mindset in which people actually think up the idea of cruising around the streets looking for someone to hurt to the point of death, and do, and we are all too jaded to be outraged.
The fact that a lot of the attacks are racially motivated is another sad thing. It is not surprising that racism is rampant in Australia -- Aborigines were not allowed to vote until 1967! I knew racism was an issue in Australia before I went to Korea, but now that I am back, it seems to be a much bigger problem. It is good that it is being acknowledged somewhat, because you can't work on a problem you don't admit you have. But I don't know how deep that acknowledgement really is, how personally people take that on, and how deeply the government and business will take that on and work to enact systemic changes that could improve the situation.
For example, a report over the past week here was about the likelihood of getting a job interview based on the ethnicity of your name. They sent a bunch of equivalent resumes out with a variety of ethnic names, and recorded who got called in for interviews. Surprise, surprise, those with Anglo-sounding names were called in the most often for interviews. Those with Chinese-sounding names got the least amount of interviews, and those with Middle Eastern-sounding names got the second least amount of interviews.
My son has a Middle Eastern sounding name. I suppose I haven't given that much though to the racism he might encounter in his life, in particular hidden racism like the job interview situation. I just have to pray that he will be safe and given the opportunities he wants and deserves. I have to help him develop his sense of self and feel good about who he is, acknowledge and accept difference, and help him feel positively connected with people and the world around him. I pray he won't feel the alienation and disconnection that could lead to a violent mindset. I pray he will know he is loved and love others. I'm glad he will learn martial arts and have some skills to defend himself if he needed. I pray he will never need to.
The voilence has definitely increased since I left, I think. Guns are illegal here, so people are using knives instead. There is a report of a stabbing/knife attack a few times a week. The police have just been given the power to search somebody if they suspect them of having a knife. There have been knife attacks in nightclubs and pubs, and attacks around the streets. A lot of people are dying from these attacks. Melbourne, the capital city of my state, seems really violent and unsafe at night these days. I am glad we have decided not to live there. (We are living in a country town of 10,000 people.)
The big news this week has been the stabbing of a young Indian man on his way to work at a fast food restaurant. There was no reason for the attack, but he was stabbed in the street. He stumbled into the restaurant all bloody and crying for help, but he ended up dying. There have been many violent attacks against Indians in Australia (most of them in Melbourne) over the past year or so. For a while, the government tried to turn a blind eye to it. The Prime Minister called it something like "a regrettable fact of urban life". But Indian students have been protesting about it and asking for more help and security, and the media in India has got a hold of it and is reporting about how unsafe Australia is for Indians now. They have issued a travel warning for Indians considering coming to Australia. So finally (unfortunately only because the economy has been threatened, not because of the moral obligation!) the government is getting more on board this issue and are now at least condemning the attacks.
Yesterday in the newspaper they had a list of several of the attacks that have happened to the Indians (or people who were mistaken for Indians). Several of the people had been beaten to death or stabbed to death, and some of the others had suffered brain damage, loss of sight or hearing, as well as broken bones and injured organs. I just cannot wrap my mind around what must be going through the attackers' minds when they do this. I cannot understand how you could keep bashing someone, obviously already injured, to the point of death.
K1, UFC, and other cage fighting "sports" are not to blame for this but I really hate those sports and wondering how someone could bash someone else to death brings these sports to mind. I don't mind the fighting when both opponents are upright and the guy who's losing at least has a chance of getting away, but I hate it when the one guy has pinned the other to the ground so that he can't move, and then just keeps punching him in the head. There is often blood over the mat at the end of those fights. I know it is 'controlled' by the referee and supposed to be somewhat 'safe' for the participants, but I feel sick when I see it on TV. That violence like that has been normalised and served up for viewing with beer and popcorn is one of the f-ed up things about our modern society and just part of the general mindset in which people actually think up the idea of cruising around the streets looking for someone to hurt to the point of death, and do, and we are all too jaded to be outraged.
The fact that a lot of the attacks are racially motivated is another sad thing. It is not surprising that racism is rampant in Australia -- Aborigines were not allowed to vote until 1967! I knew racism was an issue in Australia before I went to Korea, but now that I am back, it seems to be a much bigger problem. It is good that it is being acknowledged somewhat, because you can't work on a problem you don't admit you have. But I don't know how deep that acknowledgement really is, how personally people take that on, and how deeply the government and business will take that on and work to enact systemic changes that could improve the situation.
For example, a report over the past week here was about the likelihood of getting a job interview based on the ethnicity of your name. They sent a bunch of equivalent resumes out with a variety of ethnic names, and recorded who got called in for interviews. Surprise, surprise, those with Anglo-sounding names were called in the most often for interviews. Those with Chinese-sounding names got the least amount of interviews, and those with Middle Eastern-sounding names got the second least amount of interviews.
My son has a Middle Eastern sounding name. I suppose I haven't given that much though to the racism he might encounter in his life, in particular hidden racism like the job interview situation. I just have to pray that he will be safe and given the opportunities he wants and deserves. I have to help him develop his sense of self and feel good about who he is, acknowledge and accept difference, and help him feel positively connected with people and the world around him. I pray he won't feel the alienation and disconnection that could lead to a violent mindset. I pray he will know he is loved and love others. I'm glad he will learn martial arts and have some skills to defend himself if he needed. I pray he will never need to.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
What have I been doing with myself?
Yikes, two whole months without a single blog post! That's sad! The beginning of a new year is a good time to get back into it. (Or maybe a bad time. I read an article in the newspaper a few days ago and some quit smoking organisations were saying planning to quit smoking cold turkey on January 1 is a bad idea, because the party season is not quite over, and then if you break your resolution in those first few days, you give up because you've already failed . . . they recommended waiting a couple of weeks until all the Christmas/New Year festivities were fully finished before starting to quit smoking. Sounds sensible to me, but anyway, I will flout their advice and resolve to start blogging IMMEDIATELY. It is already January 5 so I'm already (predictably) late.)
I miss blogging, this blog and my LiveJournal. I haven't been having a lot of me time. Blogging is part of me time!
Part of not having a lot of computer time was being one adult of four in a house that for a while had only one internet-connected computer (HELL!! Finally we got the wireless hooked up and so there are two computers with internet available. YAY!). Now we have two computers but there are times when I can't get a computer when I have the chance!
Another part of the lack of blogging time is being busy preparing stuff for the opening of our taekwondo school (we had an open day last month that was well attended and we are starting regular classes in a couple of weeks). This is taking up A LOT of time (more than I expected). A lot of K's naps - and about 95% of my computer time (time that used to be spent on the internet!) - is spent doing paperwork for our school. Yesterday I designed a brochure and today I'm working on our Student Orientation Handbook. I like it. I like using my creativity, and it feels so satisfying to be building something from scratch.
I seem busier with K and with basic stuf like washing and drying clothes, preparing his food and feeding him, going to the supermarket (I just made a typo and wrote 'going to the sperm' . . . hahaha . . . hmm, what would Freud make of that?!?!?!?), and going to various boring appointments and errands. We've been doing some fun stuff too -- playgroup, swimming, walking at the lake, outings, and just playing outside on the grass in the yard (most appreciated after life in yard-less Korea!).
He is getting so big! He has begun taking single steps here and there - the kind where he just lunges for the couch/person's legs/bed or whatever as he takes the step, and is practicing standing up by himself. He's so confident and adventurous now. He just sees something and goes for it!
He got his first haircut today. I have the locks of hair in a little bag to stick into his (yet-to-be-obtained) baby book. He looks like a big boy now. His first birthday is in six weeks.
I miss blogging, this blog and my LiveJournal. I haven't been having a lot of me time. Blogging is part of me time!
Part of not having a lot of computer time was being one adult of four in a house that for a while had only one internet-connected computer (HELL!! Finally we got the wireless hooked up and so there are two computers with internet available. YAY!). Now we have two computers but there are times when I can't get a computer when I have the chance!
Another part of the lack of blogging time is being busy preparing stuff for the opening of our taekwondo school (we had an open day last month that was well attended and we are starting regular classes in a couple of weeks). This is taking up A LOT of time (more than I expected). A lot of K's naps - and about 95% of my computer time (time that used to be spent on the internet!) - is spent doing paperwork for our school. Yesterday I designed a brochure and today I'm working on our Student Orientation Handbook. I like it. I like using my creativity, and it feels so satisfying to be building something from scratch.
I seem busier with K and with basic stuf like washing and drying clothes, preparing his food and feeding him, going to the supermarket (I just made a typo and wrote 'going to the sperm' . . . hahaha . . . hmm, what would Freud make of that?!?!?!?), and going to various boring appointments and errands. We've been doing some fun stuff too -- playgroup, swimming, walking at the lake, outings, and just playing outside on the grass in the yard (most appreciated after life in yard-less Korea!).
He is getting so big! He has begun taking single steps here and there - the kind where he just lunges for the couch/person's legs/bed or whatever as he takes the step, and is practicing standing up by himself. He's so confident and adventurous now. He just sees something and goes for it!
He got his first haircut today. I have the locks of hair in a little bag to stick into his (yet-to-be-obtained) baby book. He looks like a big boy now. His first birthday is in six weeks.
Friday, October 30, 2009
*heart*
Thank you for all the comments, emails, and phone calls I received after my last post. It made me feel very loved and supported. I learned a lot. I guess with him being more established on solids, feeding less frequently is to be expected. I hadn’t really adjusted my expectations.
Also: fenugreek is amazing! My milk supply increased within a couple of days of starting to take it. I can feel the let down happening faster and more strongly.
Things are not perfect . . . he’s still fussy sometimes, and sometimes won’t feed when I think he ‘should’. He’s getting more teeth, so that might be why. I’d really like him to have a feed before bed. This week he’s fed before bed a couple of times, and a couple of times he hasn’t. The nights he didn’t feed before bed, he woke before midnight and I fed him. But he went back to sleep after the feeds, so I’m not really complaining.
Anyway, thank you so much for the support. I really appreciate you!
Also: fenugreek is amazing! My milk supply increased within a couple of days of starting to take it. I can feel the let down happening faster and more strongly.
Things are not perfect . . . he’s still fussy sometimes, and sometimes won’t feed when I think he ‘should’. He’s getting more teeth, so that might be why. I’d really like him to have a feed before bed. This week he’s fed before bed a couple of times, and a couple of times he hasn’t. The nights he didn’t feed before bed, he woke before midnight and I fed him. But he went back to sleep after the feeds, so I’m not really complaining.
Anyway, thank you so much for the support. I really appreciate you!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Seesaw . . .
So: sleep and breastfeeding.
I have always been so grateful that even with a tongue tie (him) and one flattish nipple (me), we've not had any troubles breastfeeding. It took a day or so to get him successfully latched and feeding on the flat side in the beginning, and breastfeeding him in public has not really been happening for a few months now because he's so interested in looking around, but generally, we've been blessed with tons of milk, a good latch, consistent weight gain, and an enjoyable, for both of us, breastfeeding relationship.
These days, things have changed . . . I'm really confused and worried. Since we got here, he hasn't been feeding well. It got better for a few days before I wrote my last post, but since then, it's got difficult again. Basically the only time I can get him to feed successfully during the day is straight after he wakes up. I can't really get him to feed any other time. He is still only having two meals of solids per day - I went up to three for a couple of days but I'm really worried about my milk drying up completely due to lack fo feeding, so I've gone back to twice a day in the hopes of getting him feeding properly. Today he woke up at 9am, and went to bed at 8.15pm, and between then, he ate two non-huge meals of solids and breastfed only TWICE. He still wakes twice a night to feed, so that equals four feeds in 24 hours. I don't think that's enough!
I'm not sure about my milk supply. It is taking much longer for the milk to let down, and my breasts never feel really full these days. I've starting taking fenugreek tablets, drinking Akta-Vite (kind of chocolately granules you mix with milk to make a flavoured milk; I read on a mothering forum here that some mothers used it successfully to increase milk supply), and I'm planning on making lactation cookies (but in our town of 10,000 there is no brewer's yeast available until Wednesday when the hardware store gets its next delivery!). He doesn't suck long before he starts fussing (read: crying), so partly he's not sucking long/deeply enough to stimulate the let down, but I still want to take these measures to ensure my milk supply is adequate.
It is awful trying to feed him and just having him cry. I'm also going to try changing the location I feed him to see if that will help him focus to suck a bit more before he starts crying. I don't know what else to do. Any/all suggestions welcome! I am really worried about this and getting to the point of crying about it myself. I almost gave him formula before bed today. I will be totally heartbroken if I can't figure this out and have to stop breastfeeding him.
As for the other end of the seesaw - yes, you did read it correctly above. He went to bed at 8:15pm!!!! I know I am tempting fate by writing it down - every other time I write about some success we have with sleeping, it is followed by a rough patch - but things are definitely getting better with night time sleep! He has been going to bed pretty consistently around 8.30pm and going back to sleep pretty easily after his night time feeds. We are both getting a lot more sleep at night.
I am really grateful for the sleep he's getting at night. I don't worry so much about sleep anymore or spend each day counting up the hours he (hasn't) slept and worrying about him getting up to the recommended amount of sleep. Most nights now, he's getting close to as much sleep overnight as he used to get in the whole 24 hours. Thank you, God.
I have always been so grateful that even with a tongue tie (him) and one flattish nipple (me), we've not had any troubles breastfeeding. It took a day or so to get him successfully latched and feeding on the flat side in the beginning, and breastfeeding him in public has not really been happening for a few months now because he's so interested in looking around, but generally, we've been blessed with tons of milk, a good latch, consistent weight gain, and an enjoyable, for both of us, breastfeeding relationship.
These days, things have changed . . . I'm really confused and worried. Since we got here, he hasn't been feeding well. It got better for a few days before I wrote my last post, but since then, it's got difficult again. Basically the only time I can get him to feed successfully during the day is straight after he wakes up. I can't really get him to feed any other time. He is still only having two meals of solids per day - I went up to three for a couple of days but I'm really worried about my milk drying up completely due to lack fo feeding, so I've gone back to twice a day in the hopes of getting him feeding properly. Today he woke up at 9am, and went to bed at 8.15pm, and between then, he ate two non-huge meals of solids and breastfed only TWICE. He still wakes twice a night to feed, so that equals four feeds in 24 hours. I don't think that's enough!
I'm not sure about my milk supply. It is taking much longer for the milk to let down, and my breasts never feel really full these days. I've starting taking fenugreek tablets, drinking Akta-Vite (kind of chocolately granules you mix with milk to make a flavoured milk; I read on a mothering forum here that some mothers used it successfully to increase milk supply), and I'm planning on making lactation cookies (but in our town of 10,000 there is no brewer's yeast available until Wednesday when the hardware store gets its next delivery!). He doesn't suck long before he starts fussing (read: crying), so partly he's not sucking long/deeply enough to stimulate the let down, but I still want to take these measures to ensure my milk supply is adequate.
It is awful trying to feed him and just having him cry. I'm also going to try changing the location I feed him to see if that will help him focus to suck a bit more before he starts crying. I don't know what else to do. Any/all suggestions welcome! I am really worried about this and getting to the point of crying about it myself. I almost gave him formula before bed today. I will be totally heartbroken if I can't figure this out and have to stop breastfeeding him.
As for the other end of the seesaw - yes, you did read it correctly above. He went to bed at 8:15pm!!!! I know I am tempting fate by writing it down - every other time I write about some success we have with sleeping, it is followed by a rough patch - but things are definitely getting better with night time sleep! He has been going to bed pretty consistently around 8.30pm and going back to sleep pretty easily after his night time feeds. We are both getting a lot more sleep at night.
I am really grateful for the sleep he's getting at night. I don't worry so much about sleep anymore or spend each day counting up the hours he (hasn't) slept and worrying about him getting up to the recommended amount of sleep. Most nights now, he's getting close to as much sleep overnight as he used to get in the whole 24 hours. Thank you, God.
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